Forgiveness
My friend who stood me up Wednesday night left me a voicemail tonight. She apologized and I forgive her--of course I forgive her!
This got me thinking about forgiveness, a topic I spent quite a bit of time thinking about a couple years ago.
We are commanded to forgive "not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:22 NIV. But what is forgiveness? A one-sided letting go of resentment and rancor? Should it be contingent upon some act of repentance or contrition by the offending party? We see time and again that forgiveness of sins follows from repentance, an act which is more than merely feeling sorry, but requires a concomitant turning away from the sinful behavior. Acts 2:38, 10:43; Mark 1:4; Luke 3:3, 24:47.
This stuff is not just so much theoretical theology (hmm...same root). Take for example, the family who's had a child killed by an unrepentant murderer. We've probably all seen such an example where the family has been quoted as saying they've forgiven the murder despite his unwillingness to own up to his atrocities. Is that the right thing for the family to do? Do they do it more out of a wanting to remove some of the anguish from their bosoms than out of a sincere forgiveness? Is this what Jesus meant? Are we too quick to let people off the hook and so cheapen what is meant by forgiveness?
Maybe. I'll say this much. I was dealing with these questions a couple years ago and this is the revelation I got: repentance is God's requirement. These are His terms for forgiveness. They need not be, and shouldn't always be our own terms. Sometimes we need to forgive even those who have neither acknowledged that they've wronged us nor turned away from the behavior. Always? No, but I did in my particular case a couple years ago.
This got me thinking about forgiveness, a topic I spent quite a bit of time thinking about a couple years ago.
We are commanded to forgive "not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:22 NIV. But what is forgiveness? A one-sided letting go of resentment and rancor? Should it be contingent upon some act of repentance or contrition by the offending party? We see time and again that forgiveness of sins follows from repentance, an act which is more than merely feeling sorry, but requires a concomitant turning away from the sinful behavior. Acts 2:38, 10:43; Mark 1:4; Luke 3:3, 24:47.
This stuff is not just so much theoretical theology (hmm...same root). Take for example, the family who's had a child killed by an unrepentant murderer. We've probably all seen such an example where the family has been quoted as saying they've forgiven the murder despite his unwillingness to own up to his atrocities. Is that the right thing for the family to do? Do they do it more out of a wanting to remove some of the anguish from their bosoms than out of a sincere forgiveness? Is this what Jesus meant? Are we too quick to let people off the hook and so cheapen what is meant by forgiveness?
Maybe. I'll say this much. I was dealing with these questions a couple years ago and this is the revelation I got: repentance is God's requirement. These are His terms for forgiveness. They need not be, and shouldn't always be our own terms. Sometimes we need to forgive even those who have neither acknowledged that they've wronged us nor turned away from the behavior. Always? No, but I did in my particular case a couple years ago.
posted by anchovy @ 11:50 PM
2 Comments:
At 2:40 AM,
Anonymous said…
In my studies i've come across two main views of biblical forgiveness that actually have more in common than they'll admit. One view believs forgiveness must be granted whether or not the offender repents. The other believes it should only be granted after repentance, but that you should have an attitude ready to forgive whether or not they repent. Much of this comes down to semantics, but either way, as believers, we must at least have an attitude of forgiveness even if they never repent.
At 4:33 AM,
anchovy said…
That last sentence sounds about right. Whichever of the two schools of thought you subscribe to, the forgivee (for lack of a better word!) winds up letting go that bitterness and rancor that can be so very poisonous. God's rules are not arbitrary; they usually (always?) inure to our benefit.
Thanks for the insight.
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