Brotherly counsel

Talked to the pastor at church today. I mostly bounced some ideas off him concerning something I've been praying about. I'm glad I did because I needed someone to help me make sure I wasn't handling it all wrong. Ultimately it's the the man upstairs I'm accountable to and not the pastor, but it's good to have Godly bothers to help you along the way. I felt good before the meeting; even better after.

For hire

You know, I’ve laid bare quite a bit of personal stuff on this blog thingie, but there’s a topic I’ve conspicuously avoided. It’s a very mundane topic, really, certainly compared to the more intimate matters of the heart stuff I like to write about. Everyone else writes about this topic too. They can't avoid it. After all, it occupies a huge chunk of their lives, probably the majority of their waking hours, in fact.

The topic is work. I haven’t written about it for two reasons. First, I don’t have any so there’s nothing to write about. Second, maybe I’ve been a bit embarrassed about not having had one for so long, but also because I did not take the exam I was supposed to be studying for in the interim. So why has it been such a long time? And why didn’t I take this exam?

It’s been a long time, I think, because I needed the time for other things. Ya, ostensibly for studying, but now that I look back I realize the man upstairs carved out this hiatus in my life for other purposes. See, the last year has not gone the way I expected. I did not get my license to practice and I did not get that $120k/year job. Instead, I moved back with the old folks, got super involved at church, got my spiritual house in order, cultivated new relationships and reestablished old ones, got involved in a bad one and learned a lesson, learned how to be a servant (in the biblical sense), fixed a whole bunch of cars, fixed some computers, read a whole lot, worked on some personal projects including legal research for friends and family, got fit and a bunch of other things.

Above all, during this time I’ve been learning a huge lesson on humility and reliance on the Lord. I’m a planner, a go-getter. I usually do well in school and in my career. I set out projects for myself and I accomplish them. Well, it didn’t quite turn out that way this time. I needed to learn to rely on the Lord rather than my own skills and abilities. Not to boast or anything, but I know I have been given some pretty nifty skills and abilities. The thing is, I’d forgotten whom they’d come from and to whom they should be subject. The folks at church, when they see me in my coveralls and bandana with grease smeared on my face and a wrench in my hand are sometimes surprised to learn I’m an engineer with a law degree. But you know, the Lord has a way of ignoring such fine titles. He’s using me to serve in other ways and as a result folks at church have been blessed and I’ve learned a lesson in humility, service and reliance.

Ok, so that said, I’m out of cash so I’ve finally begun looking for a job again. I dabbled a bit here and there, but now it’s in earnest. Besides, without getting into details, I know my vacation was supposed to be over about two months ago. And you know what? I’ve got an interview tomorrow morning! It’s an IP boutique that’s opening up a new office. They’re looking for a legal assistant. Sounds perfect.

Another weekend of friends and cars

I love my friend from NJ. She and the boyfriend came in for a quick trip this weekend and I just got back from spending a few hours with her. While the boyfriend hung out with dad, her and I grabbed breakfast, drove through the Santa Monica mountains and took a dip at Malibu. The only downside was I would like to have hung out with the boyfriend too. He's a good guy.

I also hung out with a friend last night I hadn't seen for a while. Excellent. Caught a movie called Proof. Astonishing performance by Gweneth Paltrow (whoda thunk?). Interesting look into the interplay between mental instability and creative genius.

Thank God for good folks in your life. I do need more good guys in my life, though.
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Car Clinic was awesome. Only one person showed up--the one with the bad wheel bearing--and one of the guys who volunteered to help out stuck around for all of it. As shown in the picture, the outer race is about two inches wide which provides plenty of friction when trying to hammer the sucker out. A friend of mine had the same work done at the dealer for close to a thousand dollars. Mind you, he got ripped off, but the point is we saved someone a pretty penny and did a job worth being proud of. Good stuff.

I'm almost done with the Corolla. It was smashed up a few weeks ago and I've slowly been bringing it back to life. It doesn't look great, but it's not too bad and it's functional. My father and I put the bumper back on tonight. The only thing left is I need to bypass the alarm tomorrow. (I can't tell you how much I dislike those things!)

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The NJ friend suggested I use conditioner in my hair. I've just stepped out of the shower after a generous application of orange goop from a bottle labeled "Citrus Smoothie" and my hair is now soft, supple and screaming for someone to run their fingers through it! ...the world must have gone deaf.

It's complicated

Someone shared with me tonight something pretty heavy that I wasn't sure how to respond to and when the conversation was over I felt I might not have understood all she said. Moreover, judging from her response I might have said the wrong thing. So I've been sitting up thinking and praying about what to do next. I think I need to say a few more things to this person, but I'm afraid I'll just make things worse. I know I've given no details; that's not the point (and someone else's privacy is involved besides). I'm just sharing the anxiety of being in a position to choose just the right words to say or totally screwing things up--not much in between. Well, I've worried enough about it. It's all up to the man upstairs now. This little nonsensical post is just here to provide me a reminder down the road once the whole thing is resolved.

One more thing. Should I run my ideas by someone else first? That can be pretty tricky because I need someone I can trust to keep this to himself and I also need him to be a dude and one with a relationship with the Lord. There are a couple guys I talk to a bit at church, but I'm not sure I've got that kind of relationship with them yet. Maybe the pastor, but there might be a conflict of interest there and I don't even know if it's appropriate. I can always ask, I guess (though a "yes" doesn't necessarily mean I should). I'll probably be seeing him on another matter next week anyway.

Life is complicated sometimes. Most of the time, really.

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I've got Car Clinic tomorrow. I've got three or four oil changes and a front wheel bearing. The guy who usually helps is out of town so it's just me this time. Fortunately a couple other guys said they can come lend a hand if need be. The wheel bearing is tricky because the outer races are usually pressed in. Worst case I'll have to take it home and work on it there, but I have the feeling it's going to take me half a day in any event.

I also have the feeling I'll be inheriting this ministry. Just a hunch, but it's something I've been prepairing for just in case.

Hommage—sounds fancy

Preachy movies boo!
Creative, heartwarming movies yay!

Syriana
This scathing indictment of the oil industry and U.S. foreign policy vis-à-vis oil rich countries in the Middle East is a mediocre thriller, but I don’t think the movie makers were terribly interested in making an entertaining movie. It tells the story of a government cover-up in an impressionist series of vignettes and parallel stories that are but tenuously connected. (You got that sentence? Then you might get the movie.)

Ok, so they didn’t intend to entertain. What were they up to? I’d call it preaching. After all, it had the ham-fisted subtlety of a fire-and-brimstone sermon, only it seems they would have us believe all sinners go to America. And that last sentence is more subtle than anything you’re likely to find in the movie. Well, except maybe the way they managed to compare the employment of (presumably) illegal immigrants to the exploitation of suicide/homicide bombers overseas. Did anyone else catch that?

Cars
It’s Pixar. ‘enough said. Except that so many folks are saying this isn’t as good as the other Pixar flicks. Ok, so maybe the story is a little weak and predictable, but they did everything else so well—detail, characters, sincerely interesting and funny gags, action sequences—that it didn’t seem to hurt the movie.

I have to admit, when I saw the first trailers I was a little doubtful about the subject. Watching lap after repetitive lap of cars going in circles is slightly less interesting than watching a game of Pong. In reality, though, if I had to put a label to the subject of this film I would call it Americana. The movie is a breathtakingly beautiful, heartfelt hommage to automobiles, the freedom they represent and the bigger than life roads, towns and vistas of the American southwest. The film is beautiful to watch whatever you might say of the story.

Crash
Eight minutes is all I lasted. I'm done.

San Fran, day 2

If a glass of wine is one of life’s most wonderful simple pleasures then surely a wedding at a Sonoma vineyard is a pleasure, simply wonderful!

I was afraid I’d have a chip on shoulder on this trip to San Francisco partly because the socially liberal, politically left culture of the city is as palpable as the slightly less infamous fog; partly because, subconsciously, I’m actively trying to dislike this city in order to justify not looking for a job here where IP and technical work is more plentiful. But the chip didn’t stay on my shoulder long.

As I was leaving home I prayed about this and other aspects of the trip, including that the wedding go well for the bride and groom and that this road trip be a nice opportunity to get in some good praying/meditating on the word time. Seems it was God’s will for all three of these things to come to pass. Awesome.

The chip came off when I spoke to the folks at the pub I wrote about in the last post. The pub and its regulars were an eclectic bunch that did nothing to dispel my apprehensions about the social and political culture here, but I’ve got a touch of the bohemian in me too and I don’t always separate myself from thoughts and ideas I disagree with. (People sometimes make negative assumptions based on some of my views, but they’re often wrong. I could give examples, but that’s the topic of another post.) These were interesting, compelling, sympathetic folks and I’m very glad I ventured out for pint instead of staying in and pouting. More details in the last post.

The wedding was absolutely wonderful. The bride was absolutely beautiful. She's one of those folks from the high school days who definitely grew up and changed for the better in so many wonderful ways. Good for her.

Other wedding highlights. I hit it off with this guy who liked to talk about faith, family, politics and all that good stuff that I enjoy chatting about too. Also, the wine was excellent (except for the un-oaked chardonnay). Finally, I got a chance to chat with someone I’d once had a great conversation with-- twelve years ago!

The trip home was interesting, featuring frequent stops that gave me a chance to do a little reading and praying that proved fruitful. (The truck was getting a little hot going up the Grapevine.)

All in all, an excellent trip.

San Fran, day 1

I'm sitting in the common room of a youth hostel on the San Francisco waterfront and I've got exactly 14 minutes to finish this post before my $2 worth of internet access runs out. Out the windw I can see Alcatraz, the Golden Gate Bridge and the Oakland Bay Bridge.

Ok, so I came to this place with a chip on ym shoulder. San Fran has a well deserved reputation for harboring a healthy selection of fruits, nuts and lefties. True to form everywhere I look I seem to find posters for peace rallies, anti-globalization this-and-that, corporations bad, ambition bad, let's all just smoke out, drop out and pretend we really aren't one step away from a Lord of the Flies breakdown. (The clock is ticking. I know this makes no sense.) So I'm watching the granola munchers and muttering to myself---as I eat my Spicy California Rolls that I just picked up from Trader Joe's down the street. Um, light soy sauce please.

And then I walk into Sweeties, a local pub bar in an out-of-the-way location in North Point and an inviting happy hour special. I sit down and proceed to embibe four pints in as many hours. Pretty mild by some standards, but a lot considering my recent habits. But it was good. I talked to such an eclectic bunch of folks. Turns out the bar tender was an ex-computer science guy who'snow getting an MFA in creative writing. The guy next to me has dreams of starting a drum factory and brought in a specimen to demonstrate. The guy had a crummy upbringing, but said San Fran is the first/only pklace he ever felt at home at. Why? He's kind of a hippy-looking guy with stringly ong blonde hair and a Bohemian attitude about him. Says no one ever judged hi here. When he asked for a job they didn't turn him down based on the way he looks.

Another of the regulars was a dead-ringer for George Carlin and even sounded like him and was hilarious to boot! ...until he got on this harangue about how the Republicans just want to stick it to the little guys. I kept my cool and just listened. It was a learning experience.

And then I walked and walked and walked, always uphill, until I came to China Town. Had me a huge bowl of noodle soup, to go, standing in a sketchy alley. So Hollywood. And then I found it---adult entertainment mecca. OK, I admit to being drawn in by the lights, but I'm just not the same person (not that I ever was that person, really) and I could just feel the slime sticking to me. I high-tailed it out of there and walked back to the hostel.

And here I am. And here's my story. Mistakes and all. One minute and 15 seconds left.

Off

Off to Frisco this morning for a wedding. Always a bridesmaide, never a bride. Actually, I've never been either. (Gritting my teeth, valiantly fighting back the obvious punchline...)