Tears
A woman is most beautiful in each of these three circumstances: when she is sleeping, when her hair is wet and stuck to the side of her face and when she is crying. Maybe it’s part of my “broken wing syndrome” or maybe part of being an older brother to younger sisters or just a propensity to be a bit tender hearted. The last time I saw a woman cry her salty tears wicked through my heart’s defenses like water through a napkin until all that was left was a sopping, pulpy mess despite ten years of fortification.
Today a woman’s waterworks did my heart in again. My kid sister is 13 and has to contend with some pretty tough circumstances in additional to the proverbial angst that accompanies that formative age. I won’t give details out of respect for her privacy, but suffice it to say her home life could be happier. When I went over to see her today her eyes were red and puffy. She’d been crying her heart out and I immediately went into Protector mode. Are you doing all right? What happened? Did your mom say something? Did somebody hurt you?
She’s usually warm and affectionate. Now I felt her stiff under my arm and I’m having a small panic thinking up the right words to say. Everything’s all right, she says. Nothing’s the matter. I don’t want to talk about it.
I settle for just holding her and telling her something along the lines that she’s not alone, she has me and her sister she can always come to. Some things we can’t change, but we’ll always try to help her. And so on....
Maybe the situation wasn't so dire as my gut initially told me, but I said elsewhere I can’t take matters of the heart lightly. And my sisters ran away with my heart long ago.
Today a woman’s waterworks did my heart in again. My kid sister is 13 and has to contend with some pretty tough circumstances in additional to the proverbial angst that accompanies that formative age. I won’t give details out of respect for her privacy, but suffice it to say her home life could be happier. When I went over to see her today her eyes were red and puffy. She’d been crying her heart out and I immediately went into Protector mode. Are you doing all right? What happened? Did your mom say something? Did somebody hurt you?
She’s usually warm and affectionate. Now I felt her stiff under my arm and I’m having a small panic thinking up the right words to say. Everything’s all right, she says. Nothing’s the matter. I don’t want to talk about it.
I settle for just holding her and telling her something along the lines that she’s not alone, she has me and her sister she can always come to. Some things we can’t change, but we’ll always try to help her. And so on....
Maybe the situation wasn't so dire as my gut initially told me, but I said elsewhere I can’t take matters of the heart lightly. And my sisters ran away with my heart long ago.
posted by anchovy @ 8:19 PM
3 Comments:
At 3:13 PM,
mal said…
it helps knowing big brothers are there. What ever she says, don't let go
At 2:22 AM,
anchovy said…
You've probably been reading my stuff long enough to realize I'm not one to let go of those I love very easily at all. I told the one who broke down my "ten year defenses" I was probably the most tenacious friend she's likely to have.
Maybe my sisters have something to do with that aspect of my personality. They try my patience at times and it seems they sometimes take others' kindness and patience for granted. Goodness knows I haven't always reacted well to that kind of behavior, but I think I react with greater patience as a result of the training I've received at their hands! So in the case of the kid sister I try to hug her a little more often than I used to. In the case of the older sister (still younger than I) I let things slide and come back when she’s in a better mood. And in the case of the other woman I mentioned, she flitted out of her “gilded cage”, but I made sure to close the door softly and leave it ajar. It’s most symbolic, but I couldn’t have done it any other way.
Duty and sacrifice are the hallmarks of love. To those whose religious predilections swing that way, there's a pretty awesome example of that in Jesus. And even if they don't, he’s still a pretty neat example if you make the not-unreasonable assumption that he probably believed what he said. But that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish!
At the end of the day, siblings are awesome. ‘nough said. Thanks for sharing about your own too. It’s heartwarming to read stuff like that.
At 5:24 PM,
mal said…
In my mind Duty and Sacrifice along with their siblings Responsibilty and Obligation are touch stones to Character. I know there is a significant enough portion of the population with character that I maintain my hope and faith.
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