Rhymes with "Bucket"

I don't actually expect anyone to read this whole thing. Just thought it was fun and a welcome departure from the subject of the last post. (The penguin really was too cute, though!)

The following is a serial limerick comprised of contributions from various newspapers, individuals, etc.

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all of his cash in a bucket,
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
The man and the girl with the bucket;
And he said to the man,
He was welcome to Nan,
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.
Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset,
Where he still held the cash as an asset,
But Nant and the man
Stole the money and ran,
And as for the bucket, Manhasset.
Of this story we hear from Nantucket,
About the mysterious loss of a bucket,
We are sorry for Nan,
As well as the man-
The cash and the bucket, Pawtucket.
There now is a man from Nantucket,
Who used to have cash in a bucket;
Today, sad but true,
He hasn't a sou,
Since the man who ran off with Nantucket.
Nan decided to chuck it-
The adventure, the man, and Paw's bucket.
Whe opened a store
Three miles from a moor
And, delighted, grew rich in Nantucket.
Nan followed her Pa down to Wheeling,
The bucket of bills to be stealing.
But her Pa wasn't scared,
And became well-prepared,
He knew she'd be Wheeling and dealing.
The scam about Nan running off with a man
Leaving Pa without cash or his bucket,
Tis unfair and untrue,
If you all only knew,
Nan, Pa, and bucket are all at Consue.
Nan's tryst with the man soon turned rancid.
She could fend for herself while in transit,
So Nan on the lam
Told the man he could scram,
And they split when they reached Narraganset.
Nan returned to her home in Siasconset,
With the bucket for whoever wants it.
Bedecked in bright lace
She, not one to efface,
Said: "I gots it and I'm gonna flaunts it."
The bucket wound up in Kentucky,
Where Nan bought a horse named Nantucky.
When the Derby took place,
Nan's horse won the race
So she dumped Man and called herself lucky.
The Man first hid the cash when he tuck it,
But when grabbing it from where he stuck it,
Along came a cop.
He had no time to drop
It, to hide it, or simply to shuck it.
A modern-day Nan would have snuck it,
(The bucket, that is) from Nantucket.
Her Paw wouldn't guess
She had had UPS,
(For safety, she wanted to truck it).

She had it sent up to Alaska,
It's farther, she thought, than Nebraska.
Did she and her man
Fool her Paw with this plan?
Well, the next time I see her, Alaska!
Nan's lover, named Kit, was from Madaket
And there he returned to be close to it
not the lost love of Nan
but Pa's gold, was his plan
But, now Nan and her Dad are both Madaket
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose finger he pinched in a bucket.
As he roared and complained,
His distraught wife exclaimed
"Don't go on so, my dear, just go suck it!"
Now, where in the Hell is that bucket?
Has it surfaced again in Nantucket?
I just can't keep track.
Did someone bring it back?
Is there cash left; perhaps just a Ducat?
While the bucket was stashed in Alaska,
It was found by a man named Prohaska.
He said with a grin,
I know it's a sin,
But I'll hide it in Lincoln, Nebraska.

When he tucked the bucket in Lincoln,
Prohaska started to thinkin,
Perhaps I'll call Nan
And be her new man
And up with her I'll be linkin'.

Now Paw was back in Nantucket,
Wondering where in the heck was his bucket.
He tried to call Nan,
But instead got a man,
Twas Prohaska from Nebraska in 'Sconset.