Sleep Fairies

Man, the Sleep Fairies love me! After dropping off my dad at work I return home to “fill up the tank” (get in those last two hours of sleep I need to function). I’m all snuggled up under the covers when I realize it’s Friday and the street sweeper comes today. So I put the car in the driveway, but with the rear wheels just barely resting on the slope of the driveway in order to leave room for my dad’s wife to maneuver her car around mine since she’s parked ahead of me.

I get all snuggled up again and maybe half an hour into a very interesting dream—it was one of those where I’m just lucid enough to kind of sit back and watch the dream like I’m watching a movie and I love when that happens!—so half an hour later I’m woken by a knock at the door despite my earplugs. I play dumb and go back to sleep, but the harm’s done ‘cause I can’t get back to that dream again.

Another half hour later I’m being shaken awake to the sound of “Your car’s rolled out of the driveway and clear to the other side of the road!” Damn. I forgot to put it in gear, something I get on my sister’s case for doing and something I almost never do.

Ok, one more time. I’m back under the covers with red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes. This time, in addition to the earplugs I pull a beanie over my head and eyes to keep out the mocking sun. I’m in the middle of a very nice dream. A bunch of people (yes, She was among them, but I couldn't quite see Her; I just knew) are throwing me a surprise birthday party and they’ve just begun singing Happy Birthday and handed me over a gift and I’m getting all teary-eyed and emotional and…and the phone rings. It’s a cold call from some guy who found my name on the internet on a list of registered patent agents.

At this time, the local high school marching band decides it’s time to rehearse the drum solo and I give up. Ah, Sleep Fairies!